Something Quite Scary

If I mention panic attacks to people, not everyone understands.

Some people think you're silly for worrying over things, others know what you're going through. 

I used to get panic attacks very frequently when I was younger in Primary and High school, because I was severely bullied and never had anyone to talk to about it, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and have some pretty big panic attacks. 

When I was old enough to understand what they were, and had also learnt to stand up for myself, the panic attacks slowly went away. 

However, as I am writing this at 4 in the morning, I have just experienced one. 

Now this scared me way more than usual because I haven't had one in I don't know how long! I didn't even remember what they felt like until halfway through. 

I don't know what brought it on entirely, but I have been stressing about health issues and my personal life for a few months. And yesterday I really wasn't feeling well and it got worse through the night. 

I get tonsillitis quite frequently however this batch has come on pretty hard. (Normally it takes a few days to develop) 

So I woke up because my throat was in agony so I went to the toilet and had a drink and washed my mouth out (as awesome as that sounds) and then got into bed and sat up to have a strepsil for my throat. 

A few mins later my head started spinning, as I get migraines often too, so I thought I'd get up to get some ibuprofen off my desk. As I began to sit up, I just couldn't breathe, I started shaking and sweating and my mouth went numb. I then started crying uncontrollably and it just got worse. It lasted for about 10 mins before luckily my mum heard me (only because my dog could sense that something was wrong so started barking bless him) and her and dad came in to calm me down, and the gave me some cold water and tissues! 

I apologise for waking everyone up at 4am!!

I'm sat recovering now and just ache everywhere and my migraine has come on even worse! 

I just wanted to write this down before I forgot so I could look back at what happened. I don't think there's any way I can control them but as long as I try to stay calm when it happens, maybe next time I won't be as worried. 

How do you all deal with panic attacks? 

Any tips would be much appreciated. 

Anyway I best try and get back to sleep! 

Lots of

Love,

Hannah xxx